As we were preparing for fall conferences I reflected on one of our most memorable parent-teacher conferences as a family. It was the fall of Isaiah’s 1st-grade year, this was back in the day where schools used color clip charts. Green was good, Yellow was a warning, Red was bad, and Black was really, really bad.
Isaiah seemed to really like landing everyday with his clip on…….yellow.
Rob and I tried everything, mainly reactive strategies. We tried a lot of things at home that first month of 1st grade, but nothing seemed to work. Most days Isaiah came home from a day at school on yellow, we kept reacting, and then we started to slide down the color wheel to red. So whatever we were doing at home was not helping at school, actually, it was making it worse. We felt bad, he felt bad, and it seemed like every night was a battle.
But then his teacher called with a lightbulb of an idea. Instead of focusing on everything he was doing wrong, start to find the right. Even if it was super small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, we started to look for the orange (not quite yellow, but not red). “Thank you for putting away the dishes” (even though we asked 8 times in my thought bubble), “wow, it looks like you are doing a lot of great work at school” (thanks for not throwing it away on the bus before I can see it), “I really appreciate that you are sitting with others at lunch” (instead of sitting alone, making your mother feel terrible).
Day after day we kept squinting for the orange, and day after day it was easier to see. Finally, instead of orange, it was straight yellow, and then it turned to green.
During this season of COVID we might be serving parents could be seeing only red, trying to work out of the home (or in it), and manage their children’s attendance, grades, missing work, projects, social events, and extracurricular activities. As educators we each have an opportunity to help them start to see orange.
At Ellis our team leaders have took the three questions for the conference and turned them into the gold standard for student-led conferences. These were the framework for our first attempt at student-led conferences, and a way to help reframe the conversations during COVID at school and home.
This week be the person that could change the color palette for a student and their family.
Thank you for all you do, take some time to find rest, and look for the orange yourself if this is a season for you.
Jessica
Principal in Balance: Learning to Lead in Work and Life 