Fear Not

Week 17. This plan to run a marathon was an idea in May, and a plan in August. An invitation from my friend Adam was an opportunity to jump completely out of my comfort zone. The training started and shortly after that so did the doubt.

You will never get all the long runs in.

You will probably get hurt.

This isn’t the right time in your life to train for a marathon.

You are way too old to do this.

You won’t even finish.

Podcasts by Brené Brown, Jen Hatmaker and Glennon Doyle kept me running, even when my head told me I shouldn’t-I kept going. Mid way through the plan I started to realize this was more than just running a marathon. This was about running towards my fear and my doubt about what I can do in life-and to make the struggle public.

So each week I run, I journal my thoughts about running and what I work through in my head while running. Each week I created a marathon mantra from a picture during one of my 2-3 weekend long runs. As each week went by in my head I had read the research, I had done the work, but in my heart I was still unsure. As the weeks towards the marathon got closer, so did my worry. Finally this weekend I had three moments of divine intervention.

The first came in the lyrics of a song:

When life piles up and you're feeling overcomeStand still and believe, I won't let you drownWhen a cry's in your throat, watching all the waves belowLift your eyes to the sky and trust t

The second came from Nothing to Prove by Jennie Allen:

07128265352108dad582a1a44fb34cbe

The third came from my family. At a wedding shower in Iowa I sat down with my Aunt, and godmother, to ask her advice. She ran marathons in the same season of life I am in now-a wife, a mom, a career, and called to do something more. When I asked if she was nervous about finishing she stated “I was until I had a dream I finished, then I just knew it would happen and I stopped worrying”. On the way home I looked to my almost teenage son (and trainer for the race) and asked “do you think mom will finish this race?” and without a second to think he said “of course mom! you have been training for this-and I am so proud of you for doing it.” (insert ugly cry).

So truth be told-I am running a marathon in seven days. My life after that race will be a testament to the fact that I overcame my fear to accomplish something I did not think I could.

So what are you afraid of? Whatever it is go after it with 110% and never look back.

Dream Big, Live Colorfully and Lead Boldly,

Jessica

 

 

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